Remembering those who have passed away from AIDS
If there is any South African person who I would have liked to meet, it would have to be the anti apartheid, gay rights and HIV/AIDS activist, Simon Nkoli.
Nkoli was born in Soweto but grew up on a farm in the Free State. Nkoli became a youth activist against apartheid, with the Congress of South African Students (COSAS) and with the United Democratic Front.
In 1983 he joined the mainly white Gay Association of South Africa, then he formed the Saturday Group, the first black gay group in Africa.
Nkoli spoke at rallies in support of rent-boycotts in the Vaal townships and in 1984 he was arrested and faced the death penalty for treason with twenty-one other political leaders in the Delmas Treason Trial, including Popo Molefe and Patrick Lekota, collectively known as the Delmas 22. By coming out while a prisoner, he helped change the attitude of the African National Congress to gay rights. He was acquitted and released from prison in 1988.
He founded the Gay and Lesbian Organisation of the Witwatersrand in 1988. He traveled widely and was given several human rights awards in Europe and North America. He was a member of International Lesbian and Gay Association board, representing the African region.
He was one of the first gay activists to meet with President Nelson Mandela in 1994. He helped in the campaign for the inclusion of protection from discrimination in the Bill of Rights in the 1994 South African constitution, and for the May 1998 repeal of the sodomy law.
After becoming one of the first publicly HIVpositive African gay men, he initiated the Positive African Men group based in central Johannesburg. He had been infected with HIV for around 12 years, and had been seriously ill, on and off, for the last four. He died of AIDS in 1998 in Johannesburg.
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I was lucky enough to meet one of the most famous cross dressers in Africa before he passed away earlier this year. Madame Lo Rochelle.
He was an icon to many young gay guys, including me. He was a free spirit who loved every moment of his life. Madame Lo Rochelle taught me how to be a diva, a performer and taught me that you should love life…
Madame Lo Rochelle was born on the 17th May 1964 (two days before my birthday) – In a small town called Tarkastad in the Eastern Cape.
Russel Phore (Madame Lo Rochelle) moved as a little child to Windhoek – Namibia where he grew up and later at the age of 28 he moved to Johannesburg.
This is where Russel lived for the rest of his life. During his early life in Johannesburg Russel was known as Rochelle to his friends and later he helped form a drag group called the Pussy Cats along with the late Leoness and late Rachel.
After the demise of both Rachel and Leoness – La Rochelle was driven by her passion for the stage that she re-invented herself as Madame La Rochelle. She was then a little older and a little wiser.
When Simply Blue was conceived the owners approached Madame La Rochelle to be the face of the club, a position and a status she gladly accepted.
Madame worked effortlessly in ensuring Simply Blue’s success considering that a Black owned gay club was unheard of.
Madame was cremated in a beautiful, solemn and well attended ceremony on Monday 05 January 2009.
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What is HIV?
HIV (human immuno-deficiency virus) is a very small organism that enters your body, attaches itself to cells in your blood, uses them to multiply and then leads to the death of these white blood cells. This destroys your body’s immune system (natural defence mechanisms against sicknesses). After the virus gets into your bloodstream, you can still be well for many years before becoming sick. During this time the virus gradually destroys your cells. However, you can still pass the virus onto others.
The HIV virus can enter your body in the following ways:
- When you put your penis inside the body of your partner without using a condom, or lick your partner’s private parts, the virus can pass both ways through the soft parts of your mouth, anus, penis or vagina
- If you are HIV positive, and become pregnant, the virus may get into your baby during pregnancy through accidental bleeds, during the time of giving birth, or even during breast-feeding
- If you have a transfusion with contaminated blood
- Having your skin pierced by an infected needle or when you are injecting drugs
What is AIDS? What causes AIDS?
AIDS (Acquired Immuno-Deficiency Syndrome) is a medical condition which occurs after a period of time when you are HIV positive, and
- a blood test shows that your immune system is extremely weak, or
- you develop tuberculosis, diarrhoea, pneumonia, weight-loss, cancer or any other opportunistic infection
Where did HIV come from?
There are different stories about this. We know that the earliest HIV infection was found in the surviving blood sample dated 1959 of a man in Kinshasa. One theory is that during the late 1940’s and early 1950’s medical experiments on human beings were being conducted in this part of Africa using organs from local monkeys. The HIV virus is very similar to the SIV (simian immuno-deficiency virus) found in monkeys, and may have passed from monkeys to humans during these experiments, or possibly through the eating of bush meat. The virus was first identified in 1983.
How long does it take for HIV to cause AIDS?
This time period varies greatly from person to person. One person may develop AIDS within a few years, for another it may take more than 10 years. You have a better chance of living longer if you live in a healthy way, that is having enough sleep, enough vitamins, less smoking and less boozing, and avoid stress. The Primary Health Care Clinics and Hospitals will give you pills to fight opportunistic infections. If you have medical aid, you might be able to get pills to fight the HIV virus in your blood. These pills are very expensive and need to be taken according to a very strict timetable.
How can I tell if I’m infected with HIV (HIV-positive)?
What are the symptoms? You can only tell if you are infected with HIV if you have an HIV test. Normally, you are tested twice to make sure.
Any of the following symptoms may be warning signs of being HIV positive:
- you get tuberculosis
- you lose weight quickly
- you have a dry cough that stays for a long time
- you have a fever that keeps coming back
- you sweat a lot a night
- you have a swelling in your armpits, your groin, or in your neck
- you have diarrhoea for more than one week
- you have white spots or strange sores on your tongue, in your mouth, or in your throat
- you have pneumonia
- you develop different coloured blotches on or under your skin, inside your mouth, your nose or your eyelids
- you can’t remember things
- you feel depressed
- you have problems in doing ordinary things
If you have any one or more of these symptoms, it doesn’t mean you have AIDS, but it means it is possible you may have AIDS. You will need to have a test if you want to be sure.
What are rapid HIV tests?
The usual test is called a rapid HIV test, and you get the result within 30 minutes. Normally you are tested twice to be absolutely sure.
Are there other tests available?
The rapid HIV test is the most widely used. If you test positive, the blood specimen is tested by a second test to make sure. There are a number of other tests available and becoming available which may be used for special and scientific purposes.
How long after a possible infection should I wait to get tested for HIV?
When the HIV enters your blood, your body produces small substances called antibodies that fight the virus. This usually happens within 2 weeks, but sometimes it takes six months. When you get a test like the ELISA, it looks for these antibodies. So you need to test six months after the possible infection. It is also useful to document your HIV status before the incident in case issues like workers compensation arise.
If I test HIV negative, does that mean that my partner is HIV negative also?
No, your test only tells you if you are positive or negative. It is possible that you are negative and your partner is positive, even though you have had unprotected sex. This means you have been lucky up to now. You cannot know if your partner is positive or negative unless your partner has a test. And remember, having had a test last year or even last month, does not tell you about the situation right now.
What if I test positive for HIV?
If you have been infected by HIV, and you want to live as long as possible and be as healthy as possible, there are some things you can do for yourself.
- If you can afford it or have Medical Aid, try and find an experienced doctor for sound medical advice, or speak to the Sister in charge of Infection Control at your local Clinic or Hospital.
- Have a Tuberculosis (TB) test. You may have active TB and not know it. If you have active TB and you don’t get treatment, you can become very sick very quickly. If you do not have active TB, you should go on prevention treatment.
- Make sure you eat well. It is better to be a little overweight than underweight.
- Cut down or completely stop taking cigarettes, alcohol and drugs.
- Take multi-vitamin tablets daily (available from supermarkets), but try to get advice first.
- Get some regular exercise such as walking, swimming, sports, but not too much.
- Accept that you probably will not live as long as most other people. Make the most of your life.
- Make arrangements for your funeral, your insurance policy, and your will.
- Clean up your life, make peace with your relatives, get rid of bad friends, and get closer to good friends.
- Avoid unprotected sex, as you might be re-infected, which can accelerate the disease, or you might infect someone else.
- Seriously consider the use of contraceptives.
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The five components of a support structure needed for person to live openly and positively with HIV/AIDS are:
Counseling
This should be encountered some time before diagnosis alongside diagnosis and continuously.
Support Group
This is essential for an HIV positive person to understand the development process to gaining closure or reaching acceptance levels as is popularly known. It is only in a local support group that one can learn this. It has to be practical. Theory is unavailable, unfortunately.
Treatment (Medical)
HIV is all about the immune system and the mind. Opportunistic Infections will come and go as the immune system becomes weak and strong. The immune system becomes weak when the CD4 Cell Count is allowed to drop below unacceptable levels. If treated on time, all OI’s go away. Access to treatment is a right.
Security (Job/Steady income/family/friends)
A job is needed for the basic needs to survive. More so with people living with HIV as the need for nutritious foods increases for us. Hence NAPWA calls for a social grant for all unemployed HIV positive persons. Relying on family for provision of the basic needs to survive does drive the epidemic underground as women fear losing marriages, children fear losing shelter and others fear losing out on love. Discriminatory policies at all levels contribute vastly to a silent epidemic.
Positive outlook
HIV??? It is all in the mind. Our bodies act out what our minds harbor. Put differently: You mentally create happiness and wellness, you become happy and well. You mentally create illness or misery, you become ill and /or miserable. “Cowards die many times before their deaths, the villain never tastes death but once.” I will live on. One can have all the above four components, without positive living they just will not work. Without positive attitude one will find faults with each of the above components..
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LIVING WITH HIV/AIDS
NUTRITION
Food will not cure HIV, but it can help to keep your immune system strong. Eat fresh food like fruit and vegetables, beans, fish and chicken.
Stop smoking and drinking, smoking and drinking make your body weak. It is then easier for the HIV virus to get strong and for you to get Aids earlier.
Get Support from people (see advice from NAPWA an this topic here) Join a support group of people living with HIV/AIDS talk to someone when ever you feel lonely,sad or angry.
Go for regular Medical check-up. A person with HIV should visit the clinic for a check up every 3-4 months. The health worker will give you advice, and will help you to deal with any problems you may come across.
Treat any new diseases or problems, People with HIV get sick very easily. It is important to go to the clinic if you are sick. This is because every sickness make the body weaker and less able to fight the HIV virus. If the Clinic finds that you have any new sickness or problems, they should treat them. If these sicknesses are not treated quickly they may get worse and make you very sick.
Info from www.mask.org.za
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SEX 
HIV is not passed on from the mouth to someone else’s cock. There are a small number of recorded cases of people getting HIV from taking cum into their mouth. In almost all of the cases the person had herpes sores, cuts or infections in their mouth. It isn’t easy for HIV to enter the bloodstream via the mouth or throat. If you’re HIV- and there is any bleeding in your mouth, or if you have a gum disease or other oral infections (such as a sore throat) take extra care. Brushing your teeth before oral sex can give you bleeding gums. To be really safe, you can pull his cock out of your mouth before he cums, so that you do not get cum in your mouth. A condom on the cock you’re sucking is an ultra-safe strategy.
Try experimenting with condoms before using them for sex. Get yourself used to the feel of them. Wank with them on. Try tearing one or two while you’ve got them on, so that you can feel what that’s like. You can feel the difference, so that if a condom tears when you’re fucking, you’ll know when to pull out.
- Put the condom on before starting to fuck, not just before you’re about to cum.
- When putting the condom on, squeeze the air out of the tip first. Roll the condom all the way down to the base of your cock to prevent it slipping off.
- If you’re uncircumcised, pull your foreskin back before fitting the condom on. You might need to practice to find out how to get a condom to stay on.
- Choose a brand of condoms that suits your cock size and shape.
Some people will tell you that condoms often break. However, often the mistakes that people make that lead to condom breakage can be easily corrected. Condoms aren’t 100% reliable, but using them correctly is the best way there is to make fucking safe. Remember the following:
- Use lots of water-based lubricant such as KY jelly, Wet Stuff, Glyde or Lubafax. Some people mistakenly use oil based lubricants like Vaseline, baby oil, hand creams, Intensive Care or other oil based lubes, without realising that these actually dissolve the latex of the condom, leading to breakages.
- Check the use by date on your condoms. Avoid using out-of-date condoms.
- Be sure to buy condoms made to Australian standards-check the outside of the pack.
- Never leave condoms out in the sun, or near any sharp objects that might damage them, or in the glove box of your car for a prolonged period of time.
- Don’t store your condoms near extreme heat or cold.
- Don’t use ultra-thin condoms as these are designed for vaginal sex. Anal sex puts more stress on condoms. Use extra strength condoms for anal sex.
For more on Safe Gay Sex, CLICK HERE.
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